I am taking a stand for evolutionary love in my life. A different kind of partnership that I want to create with a man.
One that is calling me, is being born in me. Something that I want for myself, and that I deeply believe that the planet, and humanity very much need.
Instead of an insular, “you & me” kind of love that most of us have been taught to seek, I am yearning for an expanded, “how can we serve the world?” kind of love that takes our passion and turns it out to the world in deep service.
A love where our individual authenticity is unconditionally regarded and nurtured. A love where we are the guardian of each other’s shadow, and we hold that part of each other tenderly, while not being manipulated by it. A love founded and grounded in the Divine, the Great Spirit.
I yearn to cultivate a deeper passion not only for my man, but for his purpose in the world. And I want him to do the same for me. Over the last year, I have discovered that I have an extraordinary capacity to support a man’s purpose, as well as my own, and I am on fire to do just that.
But that’s a different conversation.
What I discovered recently during my vision quest is my own work in creating this kind of love. What I need to do to become the woman who can create this kind of love in her life.
The guidance I received is that I need to create sovereignty. With myself.
The world sovereignty means "autonomous," "independent," "self-ruling," and "supreme power." I have been asking myself what this means to me since my vision quest, and here is what I’ve come up with…
Sovereignty means that
- I enthusiastically embrace the idea that I have a unique path in life to serve the world and that it is my responsibility alone to discover that path and to walk down it as far as I can.
- I am cultivating reliance on internal power (soul, self-awareness, meaning, purpose, conscious action, connectedness, serving others) vs. reliance on external power/validation (ego, narcissism, approval, consumerism, isolation, cultural constructs)
- I am on a journey from the patriarchal spell of indentured servitude to that of empowered service of the world
- My ultimate reliance is on my own experience and authority vs. others’
- I am developing the skill and capacity to consistently speak my truth in a way that maximizes the possibility that others can metabolize it
- I create relationships that honor the sacred authenticity of the other, knowing that it is the source of their greatest ability to love
- I realize that everything I do or do not do is a choice I am making and that I am responsible for that choice
- I not only cultivate my own sovereignty, I also advocate for it in others
Specifically, as a woman, some of the opportunities I have to cultivate greater sovereignty include not losing myself in a relationship, not saying yes when I mean no, and cultivating stronger discernment, or the ability to see situations clearly.
I am working on these things now.
I am beginning to conclude that without self-sovereignty, there can be no evolutionary love, no TRUE relationship.
It is turning out to be quite a challenge. At least daily, I see ways in which I lose my sovereignty, and I am discovering what works for me to re-establish it.
What does sovereignty mean to you? Is it different for you than it is for me? I’d love to have a conversation about it. Reach out if this intrigues you…