On my recent vision quest, the guidance I received was that sovereignty is my work. It’s my journey towards creating the evolutionary love partnership I so desire, and key to sharing my work as a coach.
So I have spent the last few months contemplating what that actually means to me, and taking steps toward it.
I have fallen down.
A scraped knees, shattered heart kind of falling down.
Where I was literally on my knees, crying to Great Spirit, and asking for mercy.
Where I then just allowed myself to just BE with the pain. No story, just the emotion.
The pain of not getting what I want.
The pain of not being able to open my heart again.
The pain of closure.
And each time I’ve done this faithfully, without running away or escaping, there has been a shift.
To a higher state, and gradually to a new stage.
First, it appears as a moment where I can actually FEEL where I’m going. The truth behind the illusion of my situation.
The truth is that there is another realm, where everything I’m worried about or despairing for, is already resolved. In this realm, we’ll call spirit realm, I am in a state of joy, clarity, and unconditional love. Everything I see as a problem in the physical realm, doesn’t even exist there. In spirit realm, I KNOW that everything in the physical realm is happening exactly as it should be. I realize that I am putting limits onto something that is actually limitless: love.
In this state, I can then EMBRACE what I have been resisting, and then I can go back into the physical realm calm and reassured. That situation no longer triggers me, and I am at peace about it.
Each situation that triggers me represents where I don’t have sovereignty – where my shadow or my past beliefs have a hold on me that causes me to forget myself, lose myself, leave myself.
Jack Kornfield says it this way...
Sometimes suffering the losses and the unexpected betrayals and break-ups that befall each of us becomes the places where we grow deepest in our capacity to lead an authentic and free life. Here is where the heart grows in dignity and care. By grieving honorably and tenderly and working our way through our difficulties, our ability to love and feel compassion for ourselves and others deepens, along with the trust that will help us through similar problems in the future.
And what I’ve noticed over the past few months is that I dwell in this higher state for longer and longer periods of time. I also fall harder when I fall, as the small stuff doesn’t bother me as much, and the big stuff takes me down.
But I am learning to be grateful for the scraped knees and shattered heart, so that everything that is in the way of me living AS love is purified and burned up in me.
One breakdown and breakthrough at a time…